„Wir sind in Wasser verliebt“ sagt die Wasserneutral GmbH aus Hamburg

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Zähneputzen ist wie Haare föhnen: Falls du kein Zahnarzt oder Frisör bist, bleibt es ein nerviger Teil des „morgentlichen Hygiene-Unentlichkeit-Rituals“.

Ich gehe zwei Mal im Jahr zur Mundhygiene und in den restlichen 363 Tage bin ich selbstverantwortlich und achtsam meinen Zähnen gegenüber, die alle noch ganz passabel und stabil sind.

Als Kind empfand ich Zähne putzen als unglaublichen Druck, der zwei Mal am Tag von meinen Eltern ausging. Sie mutierten zu wahren Zahnputz-Tyrannen. In dieser Zeit meines Lebens hatten sie, so glaube ich, sich gegen Menschen eingetauscht, die genauso aussahen wie meine Eltern und durch folgende Stellenanzeige angeheuert wurden:


Zur Stärkung unserer kleinen Familie suchen wir ab sofort einen

Zahnputzbuchhalter

Ihre Aufgaben:

  • Verantwortung für die korrekte Abwicklung der Zahnbuchhaltung für den zugeordneten Kinderkreis, außerdem viel Kontrolle
  • Bearbeitung von Belastungsanzeigen und deren Ignoranz von Seiten des Kindes
  • Vorbereitung von morgendlichen sowie abendlichen Abstimmungsterminen im Rahmen Prozessverbesserungen beim Putzen
  • Erstellung von Reports an die übergeordneten Eltern

Ihr Profil:

  • Abgeschlossene psychosoziale Ausbildung oder ein vergleichbares Studium
  • Durchsetzungsvermögen, Verhandlungsgeschick und Stress-Resistenz
  • Familienorientiertes Denken und ein gutes Quengel-Verständnis

Die Stelle ist auf 1 Jahr begrenzt, in Härtefällen kann sie sich um ein halbes Jahr verlängern.


Mein Vater und meine Mutter machten in dieser Zeit eine Weltreise und erholten sich von den ersten zwei Jahren mit ihrer Tochter. Als sie zurück kamen, war ich bereits im Kindergarten und abgerichtet.

In Folge dessen ist Zähneputzen ist für mich auferlegte Willkür und in meinem Kopf negativ verknüpft. Es bedurfte einer neuen Motivation:

Anfänglich habe ich beim Wettrüsten um elektronische Zahnbürsten in deutschen Bädern mitgemacht. Dann aber, aus Gründen des elektronischen Smogs in meiner Wohnung, eine Kehrtwende eingeläutet. Außerdem wollte ich Ruhe und kein summendes Motorengeräusch und dessen Vibrationen von meinem Mund aus fühlen und hören. Ich wohne in der Großstadt, da gibt es schon genügend Maschinengeräusche jeglicher Couleur.

Ich stieg auf konventionelle und teure Marken-Handzahnbürsten um und ärgerte mich, dass bereits nach einem Monat die Borsten ab standen. Eine neue Zahnbürste musste her und nicht recyceltes Plastik kam wieder in den globalen Müllumlauf. Dieser bescheuerte Kreislauf schrie nach Reflexion. Also grübelte ich und stieß eines Tages unverhofft auf die drei Jungs von „Hydrophil„.

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Zitat aus den FAQs von Hydrophil:

„Wasser-neutral bedeutet für uns, dass die Produkte Wasser-schonend hergestellt werden: Wir verwenden natürliche Inhaltsstoffe die ohne künstliche Bewässerung wachsen, wie. z.B. Bambus. Zudem benutzen wir nur Farben, die ohne Mineralöle oder sonstige chemische Zusatzstoffe hergestellt werden und somit bei der Kompostierung keine Rückstände im Trink- und Grundwasser hinterlassen.“


Wunderbar, alles auf den Punkt gebracht und dazu gibt es von meiner Seite auch nichts mehr zu sagen.

Außer: Die Beschaffenheit der Bürsten ist enorm robust. Ich habe über den empfohlenen Zenit von drei Monaten eine blaue Bürste benutzt und es gab kein abstehendes Bürstenhaar. Der Stiel, aus Bambus hergestellt, duftet, sobald er nass ist wie ein Aufguss in der Sauna. Es macht mir definitiv mehr Freude mit dieser Bürste und meinen Morgen und den Abend ernsthaft angenehmer. Ich empfehle euch die blaue und die grüne Bürste, denn die Rote ist zu hart für mich. Viel Spaß!

kleines Nachwort:

Und auch wenn ich zu Babe sage, dass: “ Die Zahnbürste regungslos in den Mund legen und dabei aufs Telefon schauen nicht in der von meiner Mundhygiene-Expertin vorgeschlagenen Putzzeit von drei Minuten enthalten ist“, schrubbt er sehr leidenschaftlich und gerne mit der Bürste von den Hamburger Jungs. Mit dieser Technik behauptet er auch, immer mehr als drei Minuten zu putzen.

Das war es dann mit seiner positiven Elektrosmog-Bilanz. Meine hingegen ist vorbildlich…

 

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